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Akune Hime: The Evil Vocaloid
DISCLAIMER: THIS IS REALL!! DON'T TELL ME IT ISN'T BECAUSE YOU CAN'T BUY HIME'S VOICE ANYWHERE!! THAT'S BECAUSE I HAD THE ONLY VERSION OF HER EVER MADE!! SO YEAH. ENJOY :3 When I was 13, I was a huge fan of Vocaloid. I had posters all over my walls of the main 5 Crypton Vocaloids, figures and plushies all over my shelves and bed, and even a dakimakura cover with KAITO on it! (Yes, I had a dakimakura at age 13.) But the only thing I didn't have was my own Vocaloid! So, I decided to go on Amazon and try to find one. I found Miku, KAITO, Rin and Len, and Luka, but they were all really expensive, so I kept flipping through the pages in search of a cheaper option. Eventually, I found a seller who had put up a Vocaloid for only $6.66!! I had never seen this Vocaloid, however. The Vocaloid on the box's name was 悪音ひめ, or Akune Hime. She looked a little bit like Miku, with the long twin tails, but her hair was blood red, and instead of a mini skirt, she had long black pants with red stripes running down them. Her shirt looked just like Miku's but it was black with red details, and she had a blood red scarf. She had red eyes and a menacing grin, and was holding a small pistol up to her temple. I was very intrigued when I saw this Vocaloid, so I ordered it immediately. One week of binge-drinking juice like an alcoholic until I threw up later, she was at my house! I took my new Vocaloid up to my room and opened the box, and found a pretty basic looking disk inside. However, it was covered in what looked like blood! I couldn't tell if it was intentionally put into the disk's design or not, but I didn't care. I popped the disk into my laptop and began to use the Vocaloid software. And, well, it was all normal! Until I tried to get Hime to sing, that is! Her voice sounded like Miku's, but it was very deep, heavy, and a bit hoarse, almost like a demon had snuck into my computer and I was making it "sing". Then, without me even doing anything at all, Hime asked me, "DO YOU LIKE MY VOICE? BECAUSE IT'S THE LAST THING YOU'RE EVER GOING TO HEAR!!" Suddenly, a claw-like hand reached out of my screen and tried to grab me, but I somehow managed to dodge it. "OH, YOU'RE VERY AGILE, I SEE." Hime said in her demon voice. Suddenly, Hime crawled out of my computer, but got stuck halfway through because of her huge butt. "GOD DAMMIT!!" She screamed. I knew that this would buy me some time, so I tried to climb out the window, but my butt was just as big as her's, so I got stuck, too. There I was, stuck in a window, being chased by a demonic synthesizer who was stuck on my bed in my computer. Eventually, and unfortunately, however, Hime managed to crawl out of her trap before me, and she tore my legs off, laughing the whole time. I began to cry out in pain, which only made Hime happier; "OH, MY! YOUR CRIES ARE SO BEAUTIFUL! HAVE YOU EVER CONSIDERED TAKING UP SINGING AS A CAREER?" she asked. "N-no, not really..." I mumbled. "WELL, YOU WON'T HAVE A CHANCE TO WHEN I'M THROUGH WITH YOU!" she replied, slurping on my intestines like spaghetti, the blood and clots forming a ring around her mouth like chunky tomato sauce. I knew I wasn't going to live to see the night, so I just gave up and let her eat me up, which she continued on doing with absolutely no mercy. I'm writing this from inside of Hime's stomach. Turns out she ate an empty word document when she was in my laptop, so now I can write! ~ THE END ~ Category:BCP Category:Pastas Category:Troll pasta Category:Computers and Internet